Time collapses in April

It is usually the month, which is the most active in terms of travelling, getting together, family visits, birthdays and anniversaries. Nature is blooming, the temperature is getting warmer, and the birch tree turned green from one day to another next to my window.

This is my second touch of this writing, I came back to finish it off and I deleted a whole paragraph of saying how much I try to enjoy April, but I cannot. It still holds, but I do not have to enjoy it, where is that written down? On social media articles, comments, and posts tell people what we should or should not do, and how we should or should not feel or think. Unwanted advice is still a piece of unwanted advice. I used the magic of filtering these out, and it helps to focus on what matters.

There are plenty of things I can do with my time in April. I have never thought that I would start running (by using couch to 5k), and also I did not really consider the possibility of doing remote live yoga sessions (check the site of Joelle for example), or I would attend a conference virtually like Lead Dev, or I would watch National Theatre’s play online. These things were not on my wish list. I would not have thought that I would play jackbox with my colleagues, and we would come together for cheese and wine and virtual pub nights. It was also surreal to listen to my loved ones singing “Happy Birthday” to me through different video calls.

There has been some beauty in joining the company called MOO fully remotely in the middle of a countrywide lockdown and settling into a new community in an accelerated way. I thought things would slow down, and it would be much harder to build relationships but I experienced the opposite way, and that is thanks to all the people who work there. It is such a difficult period of time, but it has shown to me how the way you treat people and what attitude you have helps more than any self-defensiveness, contempt or stonewalling.

It totally depends on me how I lead myself through challenges, how I offer support and how I ask for support. It is extremely hard, each morning is another day and I start it all over, no matter what happened yesterday and what I might have achieved.

I am now busier with things which I enjoy doing and I have never been so busy with things I enjoy doing, so that is the biggest gift that April has for me, and I challenge myself to turn my time to do things which colours the days. I revisit my backlog every day to get focus time. I also decided to re-decorate the walls today so I look forward to finishing off April with newly decorated walls. How are you going to use your time?

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